Post by post:
Doom: Good post.
AlexM: Good post, but I'm going to post how you SHOULD have written your posts, with grammar fixes.
- Quote :
- The desert terrain ended as soon as it started. The forest landscape presented a beautiful green sight to the sword, although meaningless - He hates everything beautiful except if it shows the perfection of something, like the perfection of a weapon or perfection of a force.
The green forest was only disturbed by a pleasant red painted point. A garrison, set on fire, smelling of blood and despair as well as of chaos power. Since the accident in the desert Sword had nothing to do except to walk straight, so why not go in and take a look at this unknown power.
Just by nearing the garrison the power Sword felt was growing much stronger, some kind of horrible chaotic strength that was brute, raw, and unformed dwelled there. As the Sword's eye looked upon it's source he wasn't able to believe it - a humanoid being. How could a mere human obtain such power? Sword knew that this being wouldn't be an easy enemy.
The person that the power came from stopped. Sword prepared for a fight.
That's most of the grammar fixes, although the style is also slightly flawed.
Doom: Ease off the WH40k references. Warp? A bit much. Otherwise good post.
Alex: Would your character really say "Oh crap"? Also, still some grammar infractions. Also, your post should have ended sooner. That, and I notice that Alex isn't able to 'blink', and you need to stop calling it 'blink'.
Doom: Good post. Not much wrong with it.
Alex: Decent post, minor spelling mistakes (That I could see, I'm kinda rushing through these post assessments). Needs more detail.
Doom: Good post still.
Alex: Decent post, grammar/spelling mistakes, could use more detail. Try to use quotation marks or italics/bold to signify statements.
Doom: Again with the warp. Still, you maintain great RPing.
Alex: Doom said he brought the axe up... you couldn't predict where it was going to land, so there's a misunderstanding there. More detail is needed. Grammar/spelling.
Doom: Good post.
Alex: Again with the blinking. Spelling/grammar.
Doom: Maintaining goodness.
Alex: More blinking... Try not to say something and then post something else to sycnhonize it with. Just do things in the correct order. Spelling/Grammar.
Doom: Warp... Post should have technically ended at the block. Otherwise, good.
Alex: Decent post despite all the grammar/spelling.
Doom: Warp... Ended well, good post.
Alex: "It'll be a waste, but worth it"... That contradicts itself. Ended well. Decent post. Grammar/spelling.
Doom: Should have ended as the axe and spell collided unless it was discussed between you what would happen.
Alex: Decent post. Still plagued with grammar/spelling.
Doom: Really? You broke through several trees and you're not even injured at all? Also, you talked about the Warp again. Other than that it's still a good post.
Personal Advice:
Doom: You maintained RPing skills, but perhaps include a bit more with each post. Also, Warp is a bit too much related to WH40k. Try to know limitations, I mean even a berserker would feel SOMETHING from going through trees, and surely be hurt even if they didn't feel it. This isn't DBZ.
Assessment:
I believe Doom should be seriously considered for approval, but I'd like the recommendation from another member of the RP council first.
As for Sword... I reserve judgement until everything is addressed including the whole 'dlink' thing.