Arena Assessment~ Xael vs Tuv

Xael:

• Good opening post. Nicely estabilishes the surrounding area. I liked the way you did part of it through the eyes of some kid.
  
• 2nd Post: A little sparse...It's nice you kept in mind that being from another world you don't speak the language but it's traditional to take SOME action each post, even if it's just moving. Also I realy would like to...I don't know.. get more of a sense of your character.This should incite fear, worry, and maybe frustration or anger in him, as it is...just kind of a blank slate. I know you told me that your character is "emotionless"(which I don't buy, emotionally stunted at best) but he should still feel something
  
• Once again a little sparse, a bit vague. It's nice he's still confused about where he is/what's going on but honestly, he could respond a little more, or at least be more detailed in how you defend yourself.
  
• Aside from a slight question about how he's inscribing runes in a metal knife, apparently with his bare hands, I quite enjoyed this post. Nice tactic, sight obscuring and poison.
  
• Okay, you have your priorities, not what we expected to see, and once again a bit short, a bit lacking in detail but otherwise good.
  
• I still feel this should have burned a hole in your boot but over all this is one of your better posts.
  
• You umm....you kind of assumed that Artua had already captured you(admittedly this was due to poor wording on Tuv's part). If this was the case you should probably have done a little on being actually captured, as opposed to just what your doing
  
• Okay you took the hit, experienced pain, all very good. Nice little corruption trick, fits with your character, I like it. Good post.
  
• All right you admitted defeat, pulled a nice exit trick and got out of there, it's good to see your willing to admit your limits and run.
  

Advice: MOAR DETAIL! I can see what your doing but it's pretty bare bones, embellish it some more. Also it would be nice to get in Dyso's head a little more...even Krasht has emotions. Even if they are all just diffrent varieties of anger, rage and bloodlust.

Overall:I think this passes the muster, if only just. I would like to see something nice and detailed in the RP section (a non-combat RP ideally). If you can get something like that off then I would gladly welcome you to the arena.

Tuv:...really why am I doing this? Your already in -_-

• Nice, I can already tell that Artua's eager to get out of there but he feels he can't leave morally, seems a little odd Artua would respond so mercurially to some random guy but hey I guess he's on edge...or bored.
  
• The monologue felt a little awkward and I wonder why a character so damn old feels the need to act like that. Still it got the violence going. Good job.
  
• You didn't use tentacles! YAY! but seriously nice solid post.
  
• You reacted appropriately and responded well. Good Post.
  
• ...slightly tentacle like but diffrent enough to pass. But seriously for someone with his power that would be an appropriate action though once again his thought process seems a bit cumbersome.
  
• Okay this post...it has it's good points. It does. That said when I first read this I at first went "huh?" then dismissed it. When I was forced to re-read it I found it hard to imagine any possible way this isn't the hands already wrapped around Dyso. I was able to eventually but I had to twist brain-words in unusual ways....
  
• Nice, softly malicious. Good word usage, short but somehow detailed and sweet. Me likey.
  
• Seems a bit of an unnatural reaction...okay well an unnatural thought process but a natural reaction. If it was me I would panic because something is trying to break my mind. Then I would detonate it. otherwse solid.
  
• Took injury, took stock, took action. good post, decent exit. Nice.
  

Advice: Work on getting your thoughts and actions integrated a little smoother and also maybe re-read some of your posts to make sure there can be no confusion. Pretty good though.

Overall: What do you want from me? It's not like I'm gonna/can kick you out of the arena. Go bother someone else.

Xael:

1: The entire post... didn't flow. It was blocky. He did this, she did that. There was this sound. This tree had this color of leaves. Not that I'm saying that's bad or anything, but from a personal standpoint, I would recommend better flow, if you understand what I mean. Good first post, though.

2: I like how you use asian symbols to describe how different the languages really are.

3: Decent post. I like how you point out stark differences between the worlds.

4: You don't need to say you focus on your opponent to be ready to dodge, so the words after your action are somewhat useless, but I suppose thereis emphasis on his concentration.

5: Nice tactic, using an NPC to gather knowledge about your enemy in an entirely logical way.

6: Nice tactic and creativity, although it should have been "Toward the child" instead of "Into the child".

7:Nice tactic one more, decent post.

8: I'm remembering your initial post, and that was a bit of godmodding, and somehow this revision is still kinda... blah. It's decent, but I don't personally like it, for reasons excluding the arena.

9: Could REALLY use more detail, and is also pretty blocky. I still like the tactitcs and creativity, though.



Arena Advice for Xael:

A lot more detail and more depth into the character, plain and simple. I saw a lot of lack in both of those...

Personal advice for Xael: Try to be less blocky, and have a bit of flow. I don't think the RP Council will penalize you for having blocky (at least that's the term I use) writing, but writing that flows I do believe gets more appeal.

Arena Assessment: I feel that you could've shown us more than what was shown. You handle your character well, I'm just missing the depth and detail. I go with BI's option to work on an RP Post that will demonstrate what we find lacking.

Well, regarding Dyso's emotions, he simply cannot afford them. He locked them away in his search for truth. After all, how can one be objective while having emotions? He operates on logic and little else. Although, I must point out the room this leaves for character development. Perhaps his time in this land will change him and show his depth.
Also, he did fly 'into' the child. His landing was not graceful.